I was thinking the other day about the things that influence me. I was mulling over my beliefs and the decisions I make; considering the things in the past that have caused me to feel inadequate or ill-equipped for a specific task or goal. You know, the voice in your head that says “I can’t do that!” or “Oh! That’s too hard!” or even “I’m not ready for that.”. In all my years, I’d never taken the time to figure out WHY I think or say those things to myself. I figured it out when I asked myself a few months ago and it has truly changed my life.
So, why DO we let the thoughts of ‘I can’t… ‘ come in and rule our beliefs and create our actions? Simple, outside long-time influences create our beliefs, truths, and therefore our actions. In other words, it’s learned behavior.
When I set out to analyze it I asked myself three questions:
- Why do I believe this?
- Where did that belief come from?
- If it’s NOT my belief, what do I believe?
What I found was ASTONISHING!!! When I answered the first question, I said… ‘OMG!!! I… I … I don’t!!!’ WOW!!! What a game changer! So if I honestly DIDN’T believe it why was I saying it to myself? I looked a little deeper and asked myself the next question, ‘So, if I don’t REALLY believe this, WHERE did it come from?’.
Pondering and mulling it over, I finally figured it out!!! I found that it was an IMPARTED MESSAGE from a great influencer in my life. The person was very close to me and they have lots of life limiting thoughts and fears that THEY live by. Because they’ve been such an overall life shaping influence their ideologies have been imparted to me through various modes of communication. HA!!! It wasn’t even MY belief! Oh MAN! This is HUGE!!!
So, now I’ve gotta understand and hear my own voice on the matter, because if I don’t believe it and its stopping my progress in my life’s mission, I need to listen to myself differently and truly hear my OWN voice. So now I ask myself the questions in list order including the last question. “Do I believe this ‘no’; where did it come from ‘ influencer’; so… What do I believe?… ‘I believe I really can do …’.” To make sure I get all my answer formulated in truth, I also couple it with scripture (I am a Christian). I do this to make it true by God’s Laws instead of my own. Finally, I translate it into a new truth and Voila! I’m ready to go do it! The belief that I held on to for so long has become a lie, and invalid in my mind.
Wait! That’s not to say that the beliefs and fears don’t come back in other areas, or show up again in the same area. I know that’s not necessarily the way it ends. Because they are LIFE LONG influencers, what they say may always be some part of my thought process and belief system. Well, at least until the new truth is ingrained in my subconscious as irrefutable. The difference is now, I’m not held captive to them as they direct my steps. Because of that, I know that the goals I’ve set and the tasks that I must do will happen on my terms because I said so. My task now is to continuously keep my truth in line with my destiny.
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Love the questions, Dawn! Profound insights, but you’ve made the simple and easy to implement in our own lives.
Thank you CeCe! In order for us to truly change we have to ask ourselves the necessary questions that foster new decisions.