I had a conversation the other day that is still resonating with me. I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with a very close family member about things he’s facing in his life. I had the opportunity to ask him a question I’ve been asking myself (and God) for a few years. It’s a very life-altering question. In this season of change and harvest, it’s also a good time to look ahead and see what’s next, to begin to lay the groundwork for change. Every year during this time, I’m looking to see what’s left to do on my life-long self expansion list. My family member was seeking the same knowledge… The what’s next; but from a different place than I am.
I preface this part by saying that I’m a Christian, so I live by applying the bible to my life. For all of you who are about to click the back button, I ask that you just ride this lesson out with me. The question I asked him comes from the story of the Apostle Paul and Silas being released from their chains while in prison because an earthquake happened while they were praying. The jail keeper asked them, “What Must I do To Be Saved?”. Salvation, for Christians, is the basic tenant of our faith. But do we really understand the full gravity of that question? Paul answered with the basic answer – “Believe on Jesus Christ and you will be saved.” WOW! This is SO JUICY!!!
The idea of “What must I do to be saved?” reaches SO FAR beyond the understanding of most people and, sadly, we miss the meat and the juice! It’s a one participant question with a two participant answer. (Stay with me y’all). The one participant question applies to every area of our existence. It applies to your finances, your health, your business, your family’s relationships -EVERYTHING… and so does the two participant answer. The way the answer is broken down there’s a part one- the stuff that the asker must do, and a part two.- the stuff that’s beyond their control (the God stuff). If you’re drowning financially, what must you do to be saved? Believe (have faith for things to work out, change your behaviors and renew your mindset towards money, learn and apply the rules personal finance) and you shall be saved (financial abundance will be able to flow, you’ll have good credit, you’ll have purchasing power, money will be in your bank account). I TOLD YOU this was JUICY!!!
The same question can be asked about health issues. What must I do to be saved? Believe ( have faith for perfect health, seek support in EVERY area possible – alternative treatments, etc, change your mindset about who has the power over your physical health, be proactive about what you’re eating, get a consistent exercise regimen) and you shall be saved (most times sickness and disease become better). That indicates to me that ANY question born from a need for change can be answered in time by asking the question and disciplining yourself to receive the change by your actions from the answer. That question even applies for your business. Yes! You’ve gotta work too! After all belief without application of processes that supports the belief is not able to produce in any situation. Yes… faith without works is dead.
Next level living says the answers are there for me IF I’m willing to ask the right question and consistently take action on MY PARTS of the answer. I’ve found it to truly be the way out of perplexing situations if I’m willing to commit to every piece of my part, I will “be saved” from poverty, unhealthy relationships, failing businesses, and poor health. Even dealing with the issues that perpetuate us living beneath our birthright and not walking in our purpose can be resolved by asking the same question.
I challenge you all as we approach the end of 2014. Ask yourself next level questions and give yourself next level answers. You can’t enter certain levels without creating support systems that support the next place you’ll stand and grow from (which is true salvation). So, go ahead. Get your pen and your journal. Start by asking yourself the very eye opening next level question, “What must I do to be saved?” Then commit to your part of the answer and go for it!
I was at my Kinesiologist’s office yesterday getting my regularly scheduled adjustment and we sparked up a conversation- as we always do- about life and people. We got to a point in the conversation when he was talking about new people’s perception of what it takes to get healthy and maintain good health. I can TOTALLY relate! People often come to me for advice and want things to change in their lives but aren’t sure about committing to the process of creating the changes. To me the process of committing takes a person weighing one question very carefully. The question is… How BAD do I want it?
Happy Monday!!! It’s an ULTRA SUPERFANTASTICAL day in the universe!!! I pushed and pushed a lot the last four weeks and now that I’m in a place of follow-up it felt a little less hurried… like my goal had been reached, but that’s very far from true. I had to shake myself just a little and say ‘No, it’s not time to let up. You haven’t reached the world, changed enough lives, or created enough avenues to sustain the future generations of your family. So slowing down is not appropriate. Let’s get moving!’ I had to realize that even though portion of a project was completed, I hadn’t reached my WHY. So I just wanted to share with you all how important knowing and fully embracing the reason you do what you’re doing is to your overall momentum as you move into your next level off living. You can’t rest until you’ve satisfied your Why.
ALWAYS know your WHY! (Why you do what you do) Write it down. Post it in front of you so that you can see it everyday and remind yourself of your purpose. When your focus is off seeing your Why will realign your priorities and help you stay on track. Your WHY will be your fuel to keep you going when you’re tired or in a rough spot. Your WHY will keep you grounded so your pace is strong and sure so that you can continue moving toward your dreams. Your WHY is your life line that leads to your future. #KnowYourWHY.
Good Morning Peeps!! Happy Thursday!!! Its an UTTERLY STUPENDOUS Day in the Universe!!! So many wonderful things are beginning to happen in my life. I am literally seeing change in my life like I’ve never seen before. Lol! It’s all I knew it could be -but never had before. I think the way I have gotten here is the most incredible part. The stuff I had to lose and the incredible paradigm shift that was required for me to have these recent successes. SO… I HAD to share with you about how I had to lose so much of my thoughts about life and the rules that kept me in the box in order to get here, that now I’m actually allowing this process to shape me in ways I never knew existed… all for my new life. Here’s the craziest part… it was my choice! Yes! It was all up to me to decide if I wanted to hold on or let go. I could have stayed the same If I chose to be scared and play small. I could have chosen to be around the familiar and comfortable stuff that made up the life I knew. It was totally up to me.
I am a witness that on the other side of YOU is a life beyond compare! I’m also a witness that in order to get to that life you have to let some stuff, some people and parts of yourself GO! Why? Bc they don’t belong where you’re going. That’s right! I said it! Parts of you (your current mindset, current belief structure, your current understanding, your desires, your soul ties) DO NOT belong in your future. If you try to take them, they won’t fit and eventually you will end up sabotaging your future.
You cannot put new wine in old bottles. Likewise you cannot fit your new self in your old mind condition. The new goes with the new just like the old goes with the old. The beauty of it is YOU choose. You can actually stay where you are and never grow to your fullest potential. Yes you can! But … if you choose that, do the world a favor… do not complain about your choice or the results you see (or don’t see) because of it. It really is up to you. You can have the life you know or you can have the life you dream of. I challenge you to choose and commit to the life you want. #ThePowerOfChoice Love, Light and Blessings from my heart to yours!
I was riding in the car the other day when I heard an ad on the radio that made me pause. The ad was trying to get people to apply for a position at a charitable organization. It wasn’t really a riveting ad. Then, like an unexpected punch in the gut, I heard the phrase, “Lose your ego and find your purpose.”. It not only made me pause, but it started my wheels to turning. I began to wonder just how many ways do opportunities come to shape us for the future that we missed because of our inability to lose our ego.
So, I was thinking the other day about how many of us just want to be so much, have so much, and become so much. That goal always seems so far off from where we are today. Sometimes I tell myself that I can see the finish line, but often I forget that in order to get there I must continuously improve from where I am today. Living the best version of yourself doesn’t start at the finish line. Instead, it begins right here, right now.
Remember diamonds take years and tons of pressure to become the brilliant, rare, beautifully faceted gems that they are when we harvest them. Like wise precious metals take a refiner’s fire to become pure and untainted. Even the pearl has to go through years of process to become the precious commodity it is. Just as they become precious commodities in their time so do we. The process is just as important as the goal. Never forget that. But live your best version of yourself daily and you will eventually get there.
Peace, blessings and grace to you on your journey.
So, yesterday I grew a little bit. I actually changed and I knew that the change happened. My guy moved out; not because we were fighting or we didn’t love each other. Not because we are breaking up or ending anything, but because it was just time. Him moving out opened up old wounds that I didn’t know I had. Wounds from before I went to kindergarten. Yes… Pre-K!
We had discussed it. I was partially prepared, but it still seemed unexpected. I came home and some of his things were gone. That’s what triggered it and I recognized it. I’m not sure why, but this time, it all came rushing back and I was overwhelmingly lonely and alone. First, the tears, then the shaking, then the fear and, last but not least … the feeling of ‘He left me all alone’. It was at that moment I recognized that space for what it really was. I realized that I was, in that moment, a little 4-year-old girl who didn’t understand why her daddy left her all alone. See, when I was 4 we came home from church and all of our furniture was gone, and so was my Daddy. That was the first time that I felt the feelings that have become so familiar. So I began seeking what I longed for (Love, acceptance, re-assurance, security, protection) not only with men I had relationships with, but men I befriended. They say that girls have ‘daddy issues’ if their fathers aren’t in their lives. Last night it became clear that I am no exception.
As I talked to that little girl and replayed the scenes from my life, I realized that I have been seeking for as long as I can remember. It’s why I hold on tight and why I cry so hard and long for my man so much after the relationship is over. But last night I had a talk with my four-year-old self. I spent time loving her and letting her know that she’s okay even though that daddy didn’t come back. I let her know that the men that I date are not daddy and they can’t give me what I missed by daddy leaving.
Spent 30 minutes in that mirror speaking to that little girl getting her to understand that we are safe, and that even though daddy did not do his job, we are okay. It was the most powerful breakthrough I’ve ever had in my life. I went from tears and shaking to totally being okay and not even feeling like I needed to cry anymore. I literally transitioned from being afraid and insecure and feeling alone to being settled and secure. Just talking to myself in a space of duality – as the 44-year-old woman, loving her 4-year-old self, I created a healing bridge and stopped my tears. I slept all night without waking once because he’s not here. This morning, I woke up refreshed and clear inside. It’s like somebody turned on the light and I can see more clearly than I could before. It is amazing.
I am stronger now because I gave myself permission to be that 4-year-old again, and walked myself into my womanhood with strength and power by making that little girl feel secure. I’m so amazed and grateful.
Yesterday I hit a bump in the life map that made me begin to reflect on my past decisions and I (with my positive, Polly Anna, Glass Half Full self) began to feel myself crying over spilled milk.
I have always loved Real Estate. Investing, Selling, Buying, Flipping, EVERYTHING about it makes me so Über intrigued! So… this semester I made the commitment that I’m going to get my license in California; not just ANY license, my BROKER’s license. I’m humming along in class, reading the books, studying and … BANG I find out that the requirements have changed and I can’t get a CA Broker’s License in less than 1 year anymore. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! They changed the requirements, so it’s gonna take me TWICE as long! I say again… BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Now, mind you, I’ve paid for this course already and just didn’t complete it. I have the books, the CD’s, and all the supplemental materials. Last year I could have done it according to my original plan. I should also say that I’ve had this plan for almost five years now. Yes, since BEFORE I moved from Detroit. So what stopped me? Mainly procrastination and fear – but also life shifts.
Monetarily I estimate that I’ll forego about $200-400K because I didn’t get my license last year and probably twice that if I count all the way back to my plans starting with the move from Detroit. It was this moment when… I began to cry over the spilled milk. All the procrastination and fear have kept me from, my books, my classes, my speaking, my coaching, travel, career choices and the list goes on and on. Then I realized that our life journey isn’t just about the moments lost and the things we accomplish. Life is a series of lessons.
We learn and grow in “ages and stages” as my Granny used to say. What doesn’t fit for us today may fit for us tomorrow. Likewise, what we are doing now, we might not have been fully equipped for yesterday. We learn and grow in as we go along, and it’s our job to learn the lessons and keep moving to the goal. Crying over spilled milk breeds regret, and keeps your focus stuck on the past. So what do we do?
Dry Your Tears – The milk is already spilled. Look at it. It’s all over the floor.
Forgive Yourself – You are human and we all make mistakes. It’s not the end of the world. Life does go on. Give yourself a break.
Decide how you should handle it – What’s the best next step from here? Most often we want to go back in time and change the outcome. That’s month realistic. I mean, can you put it back in the container? Not without concerted efforts…and are your efforts best spent focused on the task of recapturing the milk and working so hard to get it back where it was? Even with all your efforts you’ll never recapture all the milk because its just not possible. Think about it, evaporation, floor cracks, the towel or sponge you use I will all retain a part of the milk. You can’t get it all.
Learn – YES! Learn what you did to spill the milk in the first place and try not to repeat it in your future.
Clean it up – Do what you have to to clean up the situation and move on from there. Just because you can’t recapture the milk doesn’t mean you don’t clean up the spill.
Recognize – Recognize that sometimes when we THINK we’re ready for something were NOT. Sometimes we have to live through a few things in order to truly be ready for what we want.
Let It Go – It’s just that simple… Just let it go.
So, I learned to stop crying over the spilled milk in my past. The if I coulda, shoulda, woulda moments that cause me to pause from my pace on the journey. I’ve learned to be grateful for every step of the process of becoming the best version of myself. So, no more tears. When you find yourself crying over the spilled milk in your life, remember we live our lives through “Ages and Stages”. That’s what my Granny called it.
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